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The Rundown

Wow! What can the Plaid Avenger say about this total bad-ass that hasn’t already been said? Probably a lot! A judo champion and former KGB agent, this dude is an avid hunter, fisherman, scuba diver and all-around man’s man. But that’s just in his off-time.  Back in August of 1999, a largely unknown Vladimir Putin was appointed Prime Minister and openly declared the hand-picked successor of Russia’s first elected President, Boris Yeltsin. A whopping 4 months later, Yeltsin suddenly resigned his position, thus catapulting our main man Vlad to the top spot of Russian politics…a position he would hold from 2000 to 2008, handily winning two elections in 2000 and 2004 to cement his claim to the Presidency. Since Russia has a 2-term limit, Putin stepped down in May 2008…only to immediately be appointed the Prime Minister of the country: a position which has seemingly contributed even further to his popularity and political power. He’s unstoppable!

During his Presidency, Putin brought Russia back from its post-Cold War loser funk to full-on 21st century re-established global power. And his people love him for it! His approval ratings among Russians have never sunk below 65%, and often went as high as 85%. Damn! World leaders would kill for those kind of numbers! And some of them have! So how did he resurrect Russia and become one of the most popular figures in modern history? I’m glad you asked…

By fighting white collar corruption and reeling in the infamous Russian mob, Putin made Russia safer (at least for Russians).  By enacting strict economic reform and tax codes, Putin stabilized the previously plummeting Russian economy. And by nationalizing the Russian oil industry, Putin oversaw massive amounts of money flow back into the Russian government coffers…remember, oil may be at a low price right now, but it has been sky-high for years.  Thanks to all that cash from oil and natural gas, poverty was reduced by half, Russia has virtually no foreign debt, they stashed billions into their banking system for future generations, and the state had moderate overall economic growth during Putin’s reign. Not bad for a bad-ass!

Politically, Valdimir Putin consolidated a whole heck of a lot of political power to himself and made disagreeing with him a not-so-desirable option for his political opponents, but most importantly, he got Russia its mo-jo back on the international scene. What am I talking about? When he came to office in 2000, Russia was seen as weak and ineffectual, and not a major player affecting world events…it was a has-been power. The US, NATO, the EU, and others increasingly encroached into territories that were historically controlled by Russia (Eastern Europe, Central Asia), and internal forces in the Caucus region seemed destined to splinter the country even further apart. Enter: Putin.

Vladimir at first was quiet and agreeable at world leader functions; patiently listening to the US and European leaders, and even allowed George Bush to “look into his soul” so that everyone would believe that he was their buddy. NOT! As Russia has re-risen under his reign, Putin began making it quite clear that neither he nor Russia would any longer be a kiss-ass to Western powers. He has threatened to retarget missiles at Europe to halt NATO expansion and has been exceptionally bellicose about the proposed US anti-missile defense shield being built in Eastern Europe…to the point of it being a major stumbling block for US/Russian relations right on up to the present.

Internally, Putin has made no bones about keeping his house—and the neighborhood—in order too:  Chechnya has been openly beaten into submission, and of course you all still have the 2008 Russian invasion of Georgia still fresh in your memory, right? This projection of military power was Putin’s announcement the Russian bear is back, and not afraid to bare its claws! Russia has also threatened neighboring states by disrupting the flow of oil and natural gas to forcibly solve economic disputes…but of course this underscores the raw political power that Russia can exert over Europe as a whole, which relies on the bear for 1/3 of its energy needs. Piss of Putin, and you may have no heating oil this winter! Brrrr!

And in his spare time? Seriously, are you ready for this?  A former KGB agent, he almost certainly is the only world leader who has probably killed a man with his bare hands. He also is a black belt in Judo, and was the 1975 Judo champion of Leningrad Sate University, a skill he still hones to this day. There are topless photos of him on the web which have gathered a cult following in gay communities across Eurasia. In 2008, he actually saved a camera crew by shooting a Siberian tiger that was charging them. In 2009 he scuba-dived to the bottom of Lake Baikal, the deepest lake on planet earth. Seriously? Yes. Serious as Stalin.

Which brings me to the last. Even though he now Prime Minister instead of President, Putin still wields tremendous power over Russian affairs both foreign and domestic, and is still wildly popular among most Russians. Like Stalin, Putin is seen as a strong central figure which has put Russia back on the map, gotten back Russian street cred, made them economically strong again, and gotten their international mo-jo back.  In Russia, he is the man. Da.

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Luka C. on January 9, 2010 at 4:44pm