The World's Plaidiest News Source

Bombs, Bombers, and Bad-Asses: the Bear is Back!

Welcome to the Putin GUN show! Damn! That dude is ripped!Salutations from Siberia my stylish plaid associates! The Plaid Avenger has headed due north out of Pakistan in the plaid jet after partying with my main man Musharraf, and am now in the vast arctic outback of central Russia on a dual mission… Duel mission? You think I am here to challenge Vladimir Putin in full-on, frontal fisticuffs? Oh, hell no! As you well know, no one should challenge that whack world leader one-on-one! He is a total bad ass!  And he’s got the guns to back up his words.  And now he’s got the bombs too…the ‘daddy of all bombs’ to be exact. I saw the be-yatch light up, and it was a doozie!

So I’m not here for a duel mission but for a dual mission, meaning I have two tasks to report on before I leave the frigid follies of this forsaken terra firma.  However, both timely topics are tied to each other…they are the repercussions of Russia’s recovered military might! Read this:

Russia tests ‘dad of all bombs’

Russia tests world’s most powerful vacuum bomb

Russia revives Soviet-era strategic bomber patrols

Russia resumes long-range air patrols

Old Russian strategic bombers continue to make news

Russian air patrols ‘a show of might’

Fears over Russian economic power

Finally! An enviromentally-friendly bomb!What the hell? Papa bombs and bomber patrols? What gives with all this stuff? I’m glad you asked my friends, so that now you can become smarter than the average bear…hmmmm….that is a great choice of words since we are dealing with the biggest baddest bear on the planet: the Russian Bear. And the Bear is back my friends, and with a brazen bear attitude!  But I get ahead of myself as always…let’s go back a bit…

The Bear has taken a bad beating in the last several decades. A beating so brutal that it was questionable if the Russians would ever bounce back from it. I am referring to the Soviet Era and the Cold War of course; a period which ended in total disaster and disarray for the Russians a mere 15 years ago when their whole political system and way of life completely collapsed. Read the textbook for details, but know this for now: by 1992 the USSR had crumbled into nothingness, the Russians had lost tons of territory, tons of resources, tons of people, and their economy totally sucked ass…but perhaps worst of all, they had lost the Cold War and lost their ‘super-power’ status. 

Dudes, these guys were totally in the toilet economically, socially, militarily, ideologically and they had no political clout whatsoever in the world.  Damn! That sounds harsh.  Well, its true, and the Russians knew it.  Its important to understand how screwed the place was in the early 1990’s, because it will help you make sense of the current upswing in national pride that is happening today, and how that nationalistic pride is manifesting itself into things which are affecting the entire globe.

Puitn: Baddest-Ass Current World Leader

So from Bear pain to Bear pride in the last decade.  How? No details needed here, just two words: Putin and petroleum.  Vlad ‘the man’ Putin is a extremely popular dude who has led this Russian turn-around. He is a stoic yet charismatic leader that has made it his mission to put Russia back on the map, and he has been done one hell of a bang-up job doing just that for almost 8 years now. He is viewed as physically strong, intelligent, savvy, tough on crime, an ardent nationalist, and a leader that is independent and confident enough to stand up to ‘the West’ and fight for the Russian right to party! Yes, he is the ‘Super-Russian’! Well, that’s what the Ruskies think anyway.  And how has he accomplished this super-fame and fortune? That would be due to the other P….the petroleum.

Russian energy abounds…Russia has vast reserves of petroleum and natural gas, and under Putin’s leadership has made mega-bucks exporting it to Europe, to China, and all points abroad.  Controlling these energy resources has helped Russia regain its footing as a world player in terms of political clout (i.e. most European countries are scared shitless to piss off Russia in any way, since the Bear provides so much of their energy needs), and of course all the bucks they make on sales has revived their economy. And I do mean mega-bucks. Enough bucks to get Russia out of debt. Enough bucks to store away for a rainy day. Enough bucks to revamp their economy. Enough bucks to revamp their military….oops! Let’s stop right there! That brings us back to our news stories!

At this point you should be connecting all the dots on your own…but since no major news organizations can seem to do it, I’ll elaborate more for their sake.  Russia has ‘been flexing its muscles’ as reported by most places, with many folks incorrectly assuming that this is a return to some sort of ‘Cold War’ mentality. The idea that Russia wants to return to the heyday of global confrontation and challenge the US to a nuke war seems preposterous to the Plaid, and is quite frankly a joke.  Russia may be doing a lot better, but they still have plenty of problems on their plate to keep them busy for a while.  So why the re-vamping of their military, the re-starting of the old Cold War bomber patrols, and the re-volutionary development of the biggest freakin’ bomb ever?

Watch out Europe! Putin's Gas could be Deadly!First and foremost: national pride. That’s an easy call. Again, consider where Russia was just ten years ago: a broke, down and out, former world power that no one gave a shit about.  Now that they have some jack to spend, what would possibly be a more natural avenue to regain your past glory than to beef up your military? All countries do it man! Hell, the US spends a mega-ton-shitload on military stuff ever year! Shit-fire, we put a damn human on the moon just to compete with the Ruskies! Military stuff is not just a base of power, but it’s also a base of pride for many folks the world over. Okay, except the Swiss…always the damned Swiss have to be an exception…but I digress.  Just know this: Russians are regaining their nationalistic pride with their strong leader making a militarily strong Russia. 

Hell, the Russians have always loved that military shit. (They have been, and still are, a major weapons dealer to the world.)  The only reason that they stopped expanding their military technologies and capacities in the first place was because they were totally freakin’ broke man! Now, they are not broke. And now, they are catching their military back up. Is that really a surprise to anyone? Does that really constitute a specific threat to anyone? I don’t think so….yet.

The second reason that the Russians are so keenly revamping their military is indeed strategic: they want to regain influence over their immediate neighbors, and appear strong enough to thwart any external invasion or internal dissent. Remember, as the center of the USSR, Russia had power over what is now Central Asia, the Caucus region, and Eastern Europe. Russia lost all that influence after the USSR collapsed, and worse yet, many of those countries have become NATO members…a move that the Bear has interpreted as ‘the West’ encroaching into their territory.

NATO: coming soon to Russian borders….

One need only consider a country like Estonia: a state with a direct border with Russia that once was a soviet satellite, and now is a NATO member…which means it is a country that used to have Russian missiles in it pointed at Europe, and now has NATO missiles in it pointing at Russia. Hmmm….can you start to see why Russia is ‘beefing up’ to discourage NATO growth? Personally, I don’t think NATO and ‘the West’ is any threat to Russia, but some of those Ruskies think otherwise. Or at least they just want to pretend to feel threatened so that they can project their power outwards again. Either way, same result. It should also be noted that Russia has been cozying up with China and the Central Asian states lately in an effort to form a ‘counter-weight’ to US/‘the West’ power on the planet. Look up the blog on the SCO if you are interested in more on the topic. But let’s finish this rant for now with one last thought…

And that last thought is a third–and by far the most interesting–reason behind the increase in military maneuvers by the Russians….and it’s one that only the Plaid Avenger will tell you about, because most haven’t figured it out yet.  But for that, I have to get on my plaid parka, feed the sled dogs, and prepare to head much further north. And you will have to tune in tomorrow to find out…

Mush! Mush bitches! Mush!

Comments Bookmark and Share

Keep in Touch with Plaid Updates

Get the University Textbook

The Plaid Avenger's World

Are you a college professor teaching World Regions or Global Political classes? Pick up the cutting edge, most entertainly educating textbook currently on the market.


Get the Comic Books

Issue 2: Battle For Burma

Well, the battle for the heart and soul of this country is on, but no one outside Burma seems to be able to do a damn thing about it! Why not?

click to profile Moon Jae-in Moon Jae-in President
click to profile Emmanuel Macron Emmanuel Macron President
click to profile António Guterres António Guterres Secretary-General
click to profile Bill English Bill English Prime Minister
click to profile Qamar Bajwa Qamar Bajwa Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Paolo Gentiloni Paolo Gentiloni Prime Minister
click to profile James Mattis James Mattis Secretary of Defense
click to profile Rex Tillerson Rex Tillerson Secretary of State
click to profile Michael Pence Michael Pence Vice President
click to profile Donald Trump Donald Trump President
click to profile Lee Hsien Loong Lee Hsien Loong Prime Minister
click to profile Malcolm Turnbull Malcolm Turnbull Prime Minister
click to profile Jens Stoltenberg Jens Stoltenberg Secretary General
click to profile Muhammadu Buhari Muhammadu Buhari President
click to profile Tsai Ing-wen Tsai Ing-wen President
click to profile Htin Kyaw Htin Kyaw President
click to profile General Prayut Chan-o-cha General Prayut Chan-o-cha Prime Minister
click to profile Rodrigo Duterte Rodrigo Duterte President
click to profile Ashraf Ghani Ashraf Ghani President
click to profile Haider al-Abadi Haider al-Abadi Prime Minister
click to profile Alexis Tsipras Alexis Tsipras Prime Minister
click to profile Andrzej Duda Andrzej Duda President
click to profile Petro Poroshenko Petro Poroshenko President
click to profile Mauricio Macri Mauricio Macri President
click to profile Pedro Pablo Kuczynski Pedro Pablo Kuczynski President
click to profile Michel Temer Michel Temer President
click to profile Justin Trudeau Justin Trudeau Prime Minister
click to profile Teresa May Teresa May Prime Minister
click to profile Ashton Carter Ashton Carter Secretary of Defense
click to profile Joko Widodo Joko Widodo President
click to profile Leung Chun-ying Leung Chun-ying Chief Executive
click to profile Sheikh Hasina Sheikh Hasina Prime Minister
click to profile Raheel Sharif Raheel Sharif Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Juan Carlos Varela Juan Carlos Varela President
click to profile Sergei Lavrov Sergei Lavrov Foreign Affairs Minister
click to profile Narendra Modi Narendra Modi Prime Minister
click to profile Matteo Renzi Matteo Renzi Prime Minister
click to profile Nawaz Sharif Nawaz Sharif Prime Minister
click to profile Hassan Rouhani Hassan Rouhani President
click to profile Abdel Fattah el-Sisi Abdel Fattah el-Sisi President
click to profile Nicolás Maduro Nicolás Maduro President
click to profile Janet Yellen Janet Yellen 15th Chair of the Federal Reserve
click to profile Tony Abbott Tony Abbott Prime Minister
click to profile Uhuru Kenyatta Uhuru Kenyatta President
click to profile Chuck Hagel Chuck Hagel Secretary of Defense
click to profile John Kerry John Kerry Secretary of State
click to profile Pope Francis Pope Francis Pope
click to profile The Muslim Brotherhood The Muslim Brotherhood ~
click to profile Li Keqiang Li Keqiang Premier
click to profile John Key John Key Prime Minister
click to profile Shinzō Abe Shinzō Abe Prime Minister
click to profile Park Geun-hye Park Geun-hye President
click to profile Enrique Peña Nieto Enrique Peña Nieto President
click to profile Hailemariam Desalegn Hailemariam Desalegn Prime Minister
click to profile Yoweri Museveni Yoweri Museveni President
click to profile Mwai Kibaki Mwai Kibaki Former President
click to profile Paul Kagame Paul Kagame President
click to profile Girma Wolde-Giorgis Girma Wolde-Giorgis President
click to profile Christine Lagarde Christine Lagarde Managing Director
click to profile Jim Yong Kim Jim Yong Kim President
click to profile Mohamed Morsi Mohamed Morsi Former President
click to profile Herman Van Rompuy Herman Van Rompuy President of the European Council
click to profile José Manuel Barroso José Manuel Barroso President of the European Commission
click to profile Tomislav Nikolić Tomislav Nikolić President
click to profile François Hollande François Hollande President
click to profile Thein Sein Thein Sein President
click to profile Mario Monti Mario Monti Prime Minister
click to profile Mariano Rajoy Mariano Rajoy Prime Minister
click to profile Kim Jong-un Kim Jong-un Heir leader
click to profile Yoshihiko Noda Yoshihiko Noda Prime Minister
click to profile Salva Kiir Salva Kiir President
click to profile Bronisław Komorowski Bronisław Komorowski President
click to profile Ollanta Humala Ollanta Humala President
click to profile Leon Panetta Leon Panetta Secretary of Defense
click to profile Ali Abdullah Saleh Ali Abdullah Saleh President
click to profile Abdelaziz Bouteflika Abdelaziz Bouteflika President
click to profile Alexander Lukashenko Alexander Lukashenko President
click to profile Rupert Murdoch Rupert Murdoch Chairman and CEO of News Corporation
click to profile Warren Buffett Warren Buffett CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
click to profile Liang Guanglie Liang Guanglie Minister for National Defense
click to profile Zhou Xiaochuan Zhou Xiaochuan Governor of the People's Bank
click to profile Ashfaq Kayani Ashfaq Kayani Former Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Jeffrey Immelt Jeffrey Immelt CEO
click to profile Li Changchun Li Changchun Propaganda Chief of China
click to profile King Abdullah II King Abdullah II King of Jordon
click to profile Alan Garcia Alan Garcia President
click to profile Ben Bernanke Ben Bernanke 14th Chairman of the Federal Reserve
click to profile Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Secretary of State
click to profile Xi Jinping Xi Jinping President
click to profile Robert Gates Robert Gates Secretary of Defense
click to profile Robert Zoellick Robert Zoellick President
click to profile Steve Jobs Steve Jobs Chairman and CEO, Apple Inc
click to profile Ricardo Martinelli Ricardo Martinelli President
click to profile Dilma Rousseff Dilma Rousseff President
click to profile Goodluck Jonathan Goodluck Jonathan President
click to profile Juan Manuel Santos Juan Manuel Santos President
click to profile Sebastián Piñera Sebastián Piñera President
click to profile Naoto Kan Naoto Kan Prime Minister
click to profile Julia Gillard Julia Gillard Former Prime Minister
click to profile David Cameron David Cameron Prime Minister