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Iranian President: “Please, please somebody bomb us!”

Bomb us! Please! How many more reasons must I give?Iran: “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, oh please won’t somebody bomb us?  We, the Iranian leadership, are begging the international community to come bomb the shit out of our civilians so that we may claim a higher moral ground than you, while simultaneously infuriating our population into being as extreme as we are.  Won’t you please help?”

Iran says begins industrial scale uranium enrichment

Iran’s industrial scale fuel production a prelude to talks

Europe: Majority supports strike on Iran

Oops. Does the Plaid Avenger seem too cynical here?  Oh well.  I just call’em like I see’em sometimes.  And it really pisses me off too.  I would love to see a poll out of Iran which shows the majority attitude of the Iranians on the street.  I would love to eat my hat after seeing some sort of huge majority of Persian folks that actually support the rapid acceleration of pissing off the rest of the planet. 

You can’t really even just point at the US or the Europeans as the only groups that are not happy about these Iranians developments: you all should know by now that the UN Permanent Security Council unanimously voted for sanctions against Iran—that means Russia and China are not thrilled with these events either (at least publicly).  The IAEA  (International Atomic Energy Agency) is not particularly optimistic that much good is going to come of this, and of course ‘the West’ takes these maneuvers as a prelude to aggression.  Is it?  I don’t really think so, but I do believe all of the Iranian government actions are definitely intended to evoke a response—a response which will include escalating the conflict. What a crock of shit.

This whole drama of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad jumping up and down screaming that it is his nation’s god-given right to have nuclear power is a theater of the absurd.  Couple that with the preposterous holding of 15 British sailors deal last week—man, that shit looked like a badly produced ABC after-school special from the 70’s—and you have the makings of a full-on global confrontation…and for what?  So that Iran can become a major strategic player in the Middle East (which they already are), so that Iran can become a major energy power (which they already are), or so that Iran can be respected at the world table as an equal of the US, Russia, and China (which is impossible given the way they are trying to achieve this).  Hell man, I have no idea what these folks hope to gain anymore.  Maybe some of you have some opinions?

The Plaid Avenger’s best guess is that they want to be the sole Middle Eastern power to thumb its nose at ‘the West’ (and the wider world  in general) because most other countries in the Middle East have strategic ties to the US, and are therefore seen as sucking up to ‘the West’.  And it’s partly an ethnic/religious thing too, that you certainly must know to understand the situation.  Here is the deal:

Iran is ethnically Persian and religiously Shiite Muslim.  Most of the rest of the Middle East is ethnically Arab and religiously Sunni Muslim (particularly the main power players of Saudi Arabia and Egypt.) Iraq‘s current civil war is based on these exact divisions.  These groups of folks have not gotten along well for a millennium or so, and it doesn’t appear that it’s getting any better anytime soon.  Anyway, here in the 21st century there is definitely a power struggle, or struggle for influence, occurring within the greater Middle East which is pitting these two teams against each other.  Throw in a few other teams (Team Turkey, Team Israel, and Team ‘West”) and you have a good old fashion cage-match going down. 

Because so many of the Arab/Sunni countries have strategic ties to the US, Iran is now seen as the sole power that is ‘uncorrupted’ by ‘the West’: a theme that seems to be getting them some respect across the region as of late.  And by obtaining nuclear power/a nuclear weapon, Iran will certainly become more of a player on the world stage than any of its Arab/Sunni neighbors.  Specifically, a nuclear weapon would put them into a serious strategic power position to be able to throw its weight around about the Israeli/Palestine conflict, and not fear any retribution from ‘the West’.  Thus, Team Persia would be the unequaled power leader of the region.  Oh, wait a minute….that’s why they would want a nuclear weapon.  I guess you really can’t blame them.

But while the future may hold some higher status for Iran, it’s not going to come without a high price…if it comes at all. I guess that’s what it’s all about; just a global high-stakes poker match that Iran hopes to bluff its way through.  Well, I guess it’s definitely worth it for the Iranian leadership: after all, if their country gets bombed or invaded, it certainly won’t be the government officials that will get hurt.  They never do.  What’s a few thousand civilian casualties…or even a few hundred thousand?  As long as the leaders look good, I’m sure it’s an okay price to pay.  What a joke.

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