The World's Plaidiest News Source

She’s Merkel-licious! The Most Powerful Woman on the Plaid Planet!

I go berserk-el for the Merkel!!!

So delicious (It’s hot hot)
So delicious (she put them boys on rock rock)
So delicious (They want a slice of what she got)
She’s Merkel-licious (t-t-t-t-t tastey, tastey)

Merkel-licious def-, Merkel-licious def-, Merkel-licious def-
Merkel-licious definition make them boys go crazy
Them world leaders love her–they want to make her babies
That Chancellor of Hotness, and of Germany’s
She’s the M to the E, R, K the L the E
And can’t no other lady put it down like she…
She’s Merkel-licious

Hello again world watchers! The Plaid Avenger has bopped back to Berlin to meet up with his favorite female fraulein freedom fighter…and seemingly the baddest ass lady leader in the world: Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany!  Damn, I love a woman in power!  And this lovely lady has got it going on: she’s not only the current leader of Germany, but has also just led the most recent meeting of the G-8, and is also the current leader of the EU, and is also the undisputed leader of the worldwide movement to lower carbon emissions in order to slow global warming.  And, and, and…this woman is all over the place! She is smokin’ on fire, busy as a bee, kickin’ ass and takin’ names global-style. Dig this:

The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women

Merkel to press China on Darfur

Merkel Pushes G-8 Climate Pledge in 5-Day Trip to China, Japan

Germany’s Merkel rated most popular midterm chancellor ever

The Stable Ms. Merkel

Merkel in lead role on G8 stage

Oh yeah baby! Let's get our drink on!And even though she’s a lady, Angela has got more balls than virtually any other world leader on the planet. Okay, I forgot about that the total Russian bad-ass Vladimir Putin…he’s got balls-a-plenty too—dudes! I’d like to see a cage match between those two world leaders! Wow, that would be insane! Or better yet, a drinking competition. A German versus a Russian in a drink-off! Holy shit, that might last for a week! But I digress as usual….let’s get back to the story….

Chancellor Angela Merkel is a world leader that I think you just absolutely have to get to know. She is one of those leader-types that is actually changing the entire world in which we live.  And she has tremendous clout on the world stage right now, which makes her even more powerful than merely a leader of a single country.  What the hell am I rambling about now?  Well, I’ll tell you…

AAAHHHH!!! Goober Alert!Politically, Angela Merkel is what you Americans would call on the conservative side of the spectrum.  Her German political party, the Christian Democratic Union, would be comparative to the Republican Party in the US.  As such, US President George Bush loves her sweet German ass!  Check out the photo spread below: it was taken at a 2006 G-8 summit when George tried to give Angela a shoulder massage during the meeting. Ha! She was mortified! How fucking hilarious is that shit! He is such a goober!

Mommy help! Inappropriate world leader touching!

Seriously though, Bush loves her! Angela’s predecessor was Chancellor Gerhard Schröder, and he was much more on the liberal side of the spectrum, much more like the Democrats in the US.  As such, Bush and Gerhard didn’t get along so well.  In fact, they hated each other. Under Schröder, Germany (along with France) were vehemently opposed to the US invasion of Iraq, and relations between the two countries sucked ass.  But since Angela’s arrival in November 2005, US/German relations have been downright peachy!  Well, except for that fucked up shoulder massage deal….

So the once soured relations between these two titans has significantly softened—remember, US has the #1 economy on the planet, Germany is #3.  Political and economic relations have both improved radically in the last year, with the US avidly supporting economic incentives within Germany, and vice-versa.  On top of that, the German economy under Merkel has been doing exceptionally well too. According to a recent poll, Merkel is the most popular Chancellor in post-war German history—I guess Hitler would still hold the top marks if you included the whole 20th century—oops!

Let's do it!But hold the phone! We’re not done yet, because Angela has been doing a whole lot more than just leading her country! She is also the current head of the European Council, which is kind of like a CEO board for the European Union.  The Council, like the EU, has a rotating leadership cycle, and Germany‘s ticket was called for this year.  So Ms. Merkel has also been extremely busy trying to strengthen the European Union—mostly by getting the EU constitution revamped and ready for member countries to vote on, and hopefully pass this time! The constitution got voted down last year, and the EU has been kind of floundering around every since.  We’ll do a blog on the EU soon, but just know this for now: Germany under Merkel is a huge fan of beefing up the Union and making it stronger and more centralized (kind of like a United States of Europe), while several other countries (most notably the UK) do not want a beefier EU. We shall see how that plays out later this year….

Whoa! You better back off my girl Bono!So are we done yet? Not hardly! Merkel’s Germany also just hosted the latest G-8 summit; a summit which consisted of the richest, industrialized, democratic nations on the planet.  And she let those guys have it too! Merkel is a staunch advocate of decreasing CO2 emissions in an effort to combat climate change, and as such was one of the creators of the Kyoto Protocol back in 1997 which called for all countries to set targets to decrease carbon crap output…you know: pollution. Many countries have been on-board for the idea, but what country do you think has outright refused to participate from the start? Yep…that’s right …the good ol’ US of A!  And that’s why I want you to know how important Angela is, because it looks as if her global push for this stuff is actually starting to win over the US too! (US turning around on global warming). It’s amazing! She is the global shizznit!

Damn! The lady is my hero! Drinking again in China with Wen!

To finish the rant: Merkel-licious has also been touring the globe, promoting trade relations with Germany of course, but also pushing her climate agenda, human rights stuff, European Union prerogatives, and even pressuring countries to step up against bullshit situations like the ones in Sudan, Iraq, and Afghanistan.  She has partied across Europe, the Middle East and is currently on an Asian tour. Damn! When does this chick sleep?

So know your Merkel. Know she is a very popular conservative leader of Germany. Know that she has improved relations with the US greatly. Know that she is the global leader in the fight for reduced CO2 shit.  Know that perhaps it is her political savvy combined with her more pro-US stance that has influenced the Americans to change their minds about the CO2 reduction shit.  Hmmmmm… you are smarter than your average bear! And I want to see Merkel in a plaid miniskirt…! Too hot too handle!

Comments Bookmark and Share

Keep in Touch with Plaid Updates

Get the University Textbook

The Plaid Avenger's World

Are you a college professor teaching World Regions or Global Political classes? Pick up the cutting edge, most entertainly educating textbook currently on the market.


Get the Comic Books

Issue 2: Battle For Burma

Well, the battle for the heart and soul of this country is on, but no one outside Burma seems to be able to do a damn thing about it! Why not?

click to profile Moon Jae-in Moon Jae-in President
click to profile Emmanuel Macron Emmanuel Macron President
click to profile António Guterres António Guterres Secretary-General
click to profile Bill English Bill English Prime Minister
click to profile Qamar Bajwa Qamar Bajwa Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Paolo Gentiloni Paolo Gentiloni Prime Minister
click to profile James Mattis James Mattis Secretary of Defense
click to profile Rex Tillerson Rex Tillerson Secretary of State
click to profile Michael Pence Michael Pence Vice President
click to profile Donald Trump Donald Trump President
click to profile Lee Hsien Loong Lee Hsien Loong Prime Minister
click to profile Malcolm Turnbull Malcolm Turnbull Prime Minister
click to profile Jens Stoltenberg Jens Stoltenberg Secretary General
click to profile Muhammadu Buhari Muhammadu Buhari President
click to profile Tsai Ing-wen Tsai Ing-wen President
click to profile Htin Kyaw Htin Kyaw President
click to profile General Prayut Chan-o-cha General Prayut Chan-o-cha Prime Minister
click to profile Rodrigo Duterte Rodrigo Duterte President
click to profile Ashraf Ghani Ashraf Ghani President
click to profile Haider al-Abadi Haider al-Abadi Prime Minister
click to profile Alexis Tsipras Alexis Tsipras Prime Minister
click to profile Andrzej Duda Andrzej Duda President
click to profile Petro Poroshenko Petro Poroshenko President
click to profile Mauricio Macri Mauricio Macri President
click to profile Pedro Pablo Kuczynski Pedro Pablo Kuczynski President
click to profile Michel Temer Michel Temer President
click to profile Justin Trudeau Justin Trudeau Prime Minister
click to profile Teresa May Teresa May Prime Minister
click to profile Ashton Carter Ashton Carter Secretary of Defense
click to profile Joko Widodo Joko Widodo President
click to profile Leung Chun-ying Leung Chun-ying Chief Executive
click to profile Sheikh Hasina Sheikh Hasina Prime Minister
click to profile Raheel Sharif Raheel Sharif Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Juan Carlos Varela Juan Carlos Varela President
click to profile Sergei Lavrov Sergei Lavrov Foreign Affairs Minister
click to profile Narendra Modi Narendra Modi Prime Minister
click to profile Matteo Renzi Matteo Renzi Prime Minister
click to profile Nawaz Sharif Nawaz Sharif Prime Minister
click to profile Hassan Rouhani Hassan Rouhani President
click to profile Abdel Fattah el-Sisi Abdel Fattah el-Sisi President
click to profile Nicolás Maduro Nicolás Maduro President
click to profile Janet Yellen Janet Yellen 15th Chair of the Federal Reserve
click to profile Tony Abbott Tony Abbott Prime Minister
click to profile Uhuru Kenyatta Uhuru Kenyatta President
click to profile Chuck Hagel Chuck Hagel Secretary of Defense
click to profile John Kerry John Kerry Secretary of State
click to profile Pope Francis Pope Francis Pope
click to profile The Muslim Brotherhood The Muslim Brotherhood ~
click to profile Li Keqiang Li Keqiang Premier
click to profile John Key John Key Prime Minister
click to profile Shinzō Abe Shinzō Abe Prime Minister
click to profile Park Geun-hye Park Geun-hye President
click to profile Enrique Peña Nieto Enrique Peña Nieto President
click to profile Hailemariam Desalegn Hailemariam Desalegn Prime Minister
click to profile Yoweri Museveni Yoweri Museveni President
click to profile Mwai Kibaki Mwai Kibaki Former President
click to profile Paul Kagame Paul Kagame President
click to profile Girma Wolde-Giorgis Girma Wolde-Giorgis President
click to profile Christine Lagarde Christine Lagarde Managing Director
click to profile Jim Yong Kim Jim Yong Kim President
click to profile Mohamed Morsi Mohamed Morsi Former President
click to profile Herman Van Rompuy Herman Van Rompuy President of the European Council
click to profile José Manuel Barroso José Manuel Barroso President of the European Commission
click to profile Tomislav Nikolić Tomislav Nikolić President
click to profile François Hollande François Hollande President
click to profile Thein Sein Thein Sein President
click to profile Mario Monti Mario Monti Prime Minister
click to profile Mariano Rajoy Mariano Rajoy Prime Minister
click to profile Kim Jong-un Kim Jong-un Heir leader
click to profile Yoshihiko Noda Yoshihiko Noda Prime Minister
click to profile Salva Kiir Salva Kiir President
click to profile Bronisław Komorowski Bronisław Komorowski President
click to profile Ollanta Humala Ollanta Humala President
click to profile Leon Panetta Leon Panetta Secretary of Defense
click to profile Ali Abdullah Saleh Ali Abdullah Saleh President
click to profile Abdelaziz Bouteflika Abdelaziz Bouteflika President
click to profile Alexander Lukashenko Alexander Lukashenko President
click to profile Rupert Murdoch Rupert Murdoch Chairman and CEO of News Corporation
click to profile Warren Buffett Warren Buffett CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
click to profile Liang Guanglie Liang Guanglie Minister for National Defense
click to profile Zhou Xiaochuan Zhou Xiaochuan Governor of the People's Bank
click to profile Ashfaq Kayani Ashfaq Kayani Former Chief of Army Staff
click to profile Jeffrey Immelt Jeffrey Immelt CEO
click to profile Li Changchun Li Changchun Propaganda Chief of China
click to profile King Abdullah II King Abdullah II King of Jordon
click to profile Alan Garcia Alan Garcia President
click to profile Ben Bernanke Ben Bernanke 14th Chairman of the Federal Reserve
click to profile Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Secretary of State
click to profile Xi Jinping Xi Jinping President
click to profile Robert Gates Robert Gates Secretary of Defense
click to profile Robert Zoellick Robert Zoellick President
click to profile Steve Jobs Steve Jobs Chairman and CEO, Apple Inc
click to profile Ricardo Martinelli Ricardo Martinelli President
click to profile Dilma Rousseff Dilma Rousseff President
click to profile Goodluck Jonathan Goodluck Jonathan President
click to profile Juan Manuel Santos Juan Manuel Santos President
click to profile Sebastián Piñera Sebastián Piñera President
click to profile Naoto Kan Naoto Kan Prime Minister
click to profile Julia Gillard Julia Gillard Former Prime Minister
click to profile David Cameron David Cameron Prime Minister