Plaidcast  |  World

Costa Rican Close Call Turns the CAFTA Tide: Free Trade Surf’s Up Dudes!

• World
• International Organizations
• The Americas

What the hell is up party plaid people? I heard you kicked ass on your mid-term exam….Congratulations! Your success was probably largely thanks to my colorful and creative cacophony of clarifying current event concoctions, of course!  And sticking with the alliteration of C, I just had to come down to Costa Rica to check out the crazy conclusion of this CAFTA circumstance here in Costa Rica. Ha! Top that you whack-ass wanna-be CNN analysts!   But I’m sure you have not a crack-addict clue what the hell CAFTA is, so let’s get to work….

Central American Leaders Applaud Costa Ricans Approving CAFTA

Costa Rica votes in referendum on US free trade deal

U.S. warns Costa Rica against rejecting CAFTA

CAFTA will open doors for Costa Rica’s workers, farmers, and entrepreneurs point

DR-CAFTA: A Bad Deal for Poor Countries counter-point

So Costa   Rica barely approved the acceptance of the CAFTA deal this week…like by only 52% yes to 48% nay. So what the crap is this CAFTA covenant? And why the hell was the US so concerned about it? Because I’m serious dudes: people in DC were sweating bullets about this Costa Rican vote. What? Why would rich ass bureaucrats in the Beltway give a shit about some rum-swilling, eco-touring, po’ folks south of our border? Here’s why:

DR-CAFTA stands for the ‘Dominican Republic/Central America Free Trade Agreement’ and is an international treaty to increase free trade. It was ratified by the Senate of the United States in 2005. So far its members include the US, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Dominican Republic….and now Costa Rica.  Like NAFTA (the North American Free Trade Agreement between US/Canada/Mexico), its goal is to privatize public services, eliminate barriers to investment, protect intellectual property rights, and eliminate tariffs between the participating nations. Many people see DR-CAFTA as a stepping stone to the larger, more ambitious, FTAA—which stands for the Free Trade Agreement of the Americas…dudes! The whole freakin’ Western Hemisphere man! In one single big ass trade block! How insane would that be?

So why isn’t the US just pushing for the FTAA right this second? Why aren’t they just trying to get every single country to sign up for that gargantuan free-trade block?  Oh…that’s right…I just remembered! Because a bunch of Latin American countries totally fucking hate the idea, and have told the US to kiss their ass in no uncertain terms. 

Hmmmm….let’s test your Latin American learning my plaid amigos: what leaders south of the border would be opposed to some trade block action with the US? If you answered Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, Evo Morales of Bolivia, Fidel Castro of Cuba, Daniel Ortega of Nicaragua, and Lula de Silva of Brazil, then you win a shot of tequila! For each one of your right answers too! But don’t drink them yet, or you won’t be able to finish this blog. Seriously.

Since the rise of the letftist/socialist in Latin America (don’t know what I’m sayin’? Check: Incensed Iranian links up with Lively Latin Leftists…and America Annoyed) the US has been fighting a losing battle trying to get countries fired up to have a Americas-wide free trade block.  When George Bush entered office seven years ago, he had high hopes of the FTAA going forward. But then the Latins turned left, and at this juncture virtually no South American country supports the endeavor—except for Colombia, which is just an Latin American lap dog .  Which is precisely why the US revamped its approach, and started targeting Central America first.  The plan is now to basically bite off a small piece at a time, getting groups of more pliable countries on board for the free trade gig…with hopes that eventually the whole deal will go down, from Canada all the way to the chilly tip of Chile! You dig?

But why so tough a fight to begin with? Wouldn’t poor ass countries be thrilled to get a trade deal with the US?  The controversy regarding DR-CAFTA is very much like the controversy regarding NAFTA…and eventually the controversy with the proposed FTAA too. Many people are concerned about the US losing jobs to poorer countries where the minimum wage is lower and environmental laws are more lax. Also, some people are concerned that regional trade blocs like DR-CAFTA undermine the project of creating a worldwide free trade zone using organizations like the WTO. On top of that, lots of poor folks in those poor countries are worried that the local businesses face unfair competition if they open their doors to the US giant. 

And think about it. Could any Costa Rican company really compete with Wal-Mart? Or Ford Motor Company? Or Exxon? You gotta face the facts: these trade blocks create a level economic playing field between countries…and even medium-sized US companies can beat the shit out of anybody in a fair fight.  And they can beat the shit out of them even worse in an unfair fight…which many think CAFTA is. However, many economists would argue the counter-point: that opening trade will increase international investment and bring companies in to set up shop to take advantage of cheaper labor.  And free trade allows those Central Americans to buy US goods for even cheaper too—because you know how huge the Guatemalans demand for US-made Hummers is….ummmm…yeah…right….But as capitalist theory goes, free trade will increase all trade in the long run, which means more money and more jobs for everyone in the long run.  The question is: how long is that run?

So the fight for free trade is a much debated debacle of our age….and the Americans are extremely anxious to continue the free trade ball rolling south of the border, so as to keep the dream of the FTAA alive as well.  That’s why the Costa Rican CAFTA vote was such a nail-biter for the US administration.

Ah….but the Plaid Avenger will let you in on another little secret that the headline news sources are too shallow to figure out! The US has another strategic interest in keeping Latin American countries tied to them economically….and that reason is China! In what cannot be a coincidence, the Costa Ricans just dropped their ties with Taiwan, in order to officially establish ties with China (Check: Taiwan loses Costa Rica’s support).

What’s that got to do with anything? Just this: In officially recognizing China, Costa Rica is opening the door to all kinds of spectacular trade deals with the Asian giant.  And do you think the US wants that?  Oh hell no my friends!  The US is fighting desperately to not be displaced out of Latin America altogether! So I’m here to tell you, the US had its nuts in a vice over this CAFTA vote! They were begging, pleading, threatening, cajoling, coercing, and outright demanding that Costa Rica side up with them on this CAFTA thing….with the primary motivation to keep China‘s influence at bay! You heard it here first my friends! 

And I have to say, my plaid hat is off to President Oscar Arias and his whole Costa Rican funky bunch…they just played a masterful hand of pitting the two world powers against each other, completely benefiting themselves.  Nice job guys! You got China and the US kissing your asses!

Damn I’m good! I bet no one has linked these two stories but me.  But then again, no one but me has had so many sultry relationships with so many Costa Rican hotties either…

How else do you think I have such good insider information….Watch out all you world leaders! Protect your wives from …the Plaid Avenger!

Japan Unearths Fukuda Fossil, Promotes it to Prime Minister

• World
• East Asia-Pacific

Holy shit! Sorry for the absence my Plaid Friends….but somehow I just woke up in a Toyko back alley, ringside at an illegal sumo competition in which competitors wrestle to the death while simultaneously engaged in an all-you-can-eat sushi showdown.  And the fish wraps and fat rolls are flying! Dudes, you do not want to get in-between a sumo and his sushi.  What an event!  Unfortunately, the last thing I remember was going head to head with Vladimir Putin doing caviar-vodka bombs outside Moscow…but that was about four days ago I think….My, how time flies.  However, this is a fortuitous touch down in Toyko, because I have been meaning to introduce you to the newest world leader of note…our main Japanese squeeze, Prime Minister Fukuda:

Japan PM sets out policy agenda

Japan May Cut Support of Afghan Mission

DIAM says new Prime Minister Fukuda positive for Japan

Fukuda Is More Pragmatic Than Former PM

Japan PM Fukuda likely to build on Abe’s Asia policy

Fukuda? Sounds like a Japanese curse word.  I love it man!  But I’ve heard that you folks are prepping for a mid-term exam, so I’ll keep this rant brief. Yasuo Fukuda is this ancient-ass dude (he’s 71 years old) who just replaced Shinzo Abe as the Prime Minister of Japan.  Back up the sake cart for a second.  What happened to Abe? You remember me ranting about Abe in the past, yes? 

Poor Abe.  He had a rough year to say the least.  After riding into the Prime Minister position on the coat-tails of his extremely popular predecessor Junichiro Koizumi, ‘Honest’ Abe just kept getting the shit kicked out of him from the word go.  His administration was beset by multiple scandals (most of which started before Abe even took office); he took a public pounding for downplaying Japanese war atrocities during WWII (specifically, the use of Korean ‘comfort women’ aka indentured sex slaves); and then his political party got smacked down in the 2007 elections (in which they essentially lost control of the upper house of the Diet—which is the Japanese ‘Congress’).

But the final straw came about a month ago when it became clear that the Diet was not going to pass Abe’s request to continue to use Japanese naval vessels to support the US‘s campaign against terrorism in Afghanistan. And Abe just had enough.  He threw down the gauntlet and proclaimed that if the Japanese support for the US (a major component of Abe’s foreign policy) was going to be voted down, then he might as well quit, since not shit else was likely to get passed.  And that is exactly what he did.  Abe bailed. And then he immediately checked into a hospital because he was so stressed out that he was physically falling apart. Damn! Hold it together Abe!

Following Abe’s resignation in September 2007, our new boy Fukuda announced that he would run in the Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) leadership election, which would also determine the prime minister, given the LDP’s majority in the House of Representatives. Just so you know: the LDP would be the equivalent of the Republican Party in the US: a socially and fiscally conservative, center-right political party.  And the LDP has been large and in charge of Japanese politics for most of the post-WWII period.  Like almost all of it.  Almost every Prime Minister has been LDP, and LDP has held the majority seats in the Diet for 50 years too. They have been very popular…which is why their big electoral loss under Shinzo Abe was such a big deal!

So Fukuda won the LDP party leadership, and then instantaneously was formally elected as Japan‘s 91st prime minister on September 25.  Fukuda and his cabinet were formally sworn in by Emperor Akihito on September 26.  Okay, well that’s the basics about how it went down…but who the hell is this dude and what is he likely to be up to in the next year?

Prime Minister Fukuda has inherited the split Congress situation from Abe, but is known to be a dude who can quietly get folks working together—a unifier.  He is already distanced from all of Abe’s troubles, so he stands a better chance of getting the government to work with him, and stands a much better chance of getting some of the LDP’s legislation through.  But make no bones about it: the Diet is split, so he will have to work hard to get things passed, and many folks in the opposing political party are already promising to make his life suck, just like they did to Abe.

Specifically referenced in a story above, the issue of continued Japanese naval support for the US in Afghanistan still seems destined to fail. Remember: this is the issue that Abe resigned over! And if Fukuda can’t get it passed, then he will have egg on his face too! Why?

Because Japan is a huge US ally, and the LDP leadership in particular are big fans of the Bush administration (both political parties are conservative, right-center). And sending those Japanese troops to help the US in the first place was not only a big sign of support for US foreign policy, but was a huge freakin’ deal in Asia because it was the first time that Japanese troops had been used anywhere outside Japan since WWII! It was a very big deal! To pull back support for the US at this critical stage in those campaigns will be a big loss of face for the US and the Japanese leadership. 

FYI: Most Japanese folks did not support the use of their troops abroad, as they interpreted this as counter-intuitive to their pacifist constitution which bans the use of an active military for anything other than self-defense of the island nation itself. The Japanese leadership was compelled to do it anyway as a sign of support for its #1 ally, the US.

On a more positive front, Fukuda will likely continue the work of his predecessor Abe in mending ties with Asia countries, specifically China and the Koreas.  There has been bad blood between Japan and all other Asian countries ever since Japan‘s imperial takeover started prior to WWII. Japan pretty much owned/controlled Korea and large parts of China and SouthEast Asia, and Japanese war atrocities are still very much remembered in these places.  Prime Minister Fukuda will be working hard to remedy this situation.

Plaid Avenger tip: watch for Fukuda to take numerous trips to neighboring Asian countries in an effort to better diplomatic relations—and I’ll bet he does way more Asian partying than any Prime Minister before him. Especially if his domestic agenda gets smacked down by the Diet. When a leader gets stymied at home, the best ones simply go abroad and work on their foreign policy…and he may be old, but Fukuda ain’t no fool.

To finish this rant, allow me to point out a specific policy which demonstrates Fukuda’s much more open policy to dialogue with Asia.  One of his most noted policy goals is to end prime ministerial visits to Yasukuni Shrine. [Find out more: Japanese whacko gives Abe the finger…LITERALLY!] In June 2006, Fukuda joined 134 other lawmakers in proposing a secular alternative to the shrine. Why? Because visiting that particular shrine always pisses off Japan‘s neighbors, and Fukuda is openly saying: “Hey, we don’t want to piss you guys off! We want to be better friends!”

So know you know a little about this Fukuda dude.  And you need to know this guy! He does lead the second largest economy on earth, is a huge US ally, and is trying to quietly change Japan‘s role in an Asian situation that continues to grow in global importance every day! And from the looks of him, can party all nite and is a chick-magnet. Look at that sweet forehead man! How can the ladies resist that party animal?

Fukuda: He’s old, but not dead yet. And I hear that Viagra also sharpens your political skills…..hmmmmm….I’ve got to party with this dude.

The State Can Take It or Leave It: Nationalization v. Privatization

• World
• East Asia-Pacific
• European Eurasia
• The Americas

What is happening my plaid party people?  The Avenger decided to stay on here in Russia for another day to work off my wicked Putin-induced vodka martini hangover…and to investigate the nationalization of Russian oil; a process that has also been going down in Kazakhstan, in Bolivia, and in Venezuela too.  And man, the US and other western countries get pissed about nationalization—they only want to hear about privatization!  What’s that? You don’t recognize these terms? Well, you’ve got to know about this shit to understand the world my affable and affluent amigos! Start learning the ins and outs of economic control with these stories:

How Russia is Nationalized: The Oil Sector

Zimbabwe Votes to Take Control of Foreign-Owned Mines

Exxon pursues arbitration against Venezuela over seizure of oil assets

Chavez threatens to nationalize Venezuelan private schools

Bolivian President Seizes Gas Industry

…and the opposite side of the coin:

Japan begins privatization of its mammoth postal system

Activists Oppose Egyptian Healthcare Privatization

Iran to Privatize Airline, Banks

India’s Privatization Plan Is On Track

So what’s the deal with these two terms? They are polar opposites my friends, and folks around the planet have passionate views about the good or evil effects that nationalization or privatization can produce. People get downright hot and bothered about these terms!  And in some circumstances, initiating these actions has caused political dissent, diplomatic friction, or outright violent hostilities between peoples, companies, and even countries! Damn! Why so much heat? First…what are they?

Nationalization is a process whereby a government takes control of an economic activity that was owned by and/or run by private individuals/companies hands. It could be transportation, corn, water, uranium, or even bananas…but usually it happens to high-dollar commodities.  For example: Exxon acquires rights thru a government contract to pump shit tons of oil out of selected oil fields in Venezuela.  Exxon goes there and sets up shop, building infrastructure like the oil wells and pipelines, and starts pumping and exporting oil. But then Hugo Chavez gets elected President of Venezuela and decides that Exxon is making too much money on that oil, and since the oil is actually in his country, he decides to take it back. All of it. So Hugo would nationalize the field, along with all the infrastructure that’s now on it, and send Exxon packing. Can you dig that?

But it never really works that simply.  Even in this Venezuela/Exxon example (which actually happened) Hugo didn’t simply just kick Exxon out and take their shit; he offered to buy back their shares and their investments at a fair market value.  Sometimes the parties have to go to court to negotiate these settlements (see Exxon story above). Nationalization of an industry often involves the government simply re-writing all prior contracts with the companies in such a way that the state owns more than 50% of the action.  But make no bones about it: if the companies refuse to co-operate or sell back their shares, then the state will just take the shit from them!

And OMG nationalization so completely pisses off ‘the West’…especially the US!  Why? Well, where do you think all the big multinational corporations are from? That’s right! Most of those companies doing business abroad (and that get their shit nationalized) are from the US/Europe. So those countries feel obliged to stick up for the rich dudes who lost their shit. Sometimes they fell so obliged that they might invade the country, or even assassinate the leader who oversaw the nationalization. Or in the case of Chavez…threaten to.  Sound crazy? Yeah, it is.

So why would a state do this nationalization gig? Sometimes its done to protect a critical industry in times of war or emergency (some countries have nationalized steel during wartimes); sometimes its done because the industry is a matter of national security (Israel runs its airline industry); sometimes its done to an industry that is floundering and about to crash on its own (perhaps the US/health care issue).  But more often than not, a state will reclaim rights on an industry that it feels it’s getting ripped off in.  Stick with the oil example: when Exxon or Shell or anybody else is pumping oil out of Venezuela or Nigeria, the corporation is making the lion’s share of the profits. The Avenger will just make up some numbers to help you get the point:

Let’s say a barrel of crude sells for $50 on the international market; Exxon may pay $5 to Venezuela for every barrel pumped out, thus leaving $45 for their own pockets.  But people in Venezuela may say: “WTF?” “It’s oil from out country….but we only get 1/10 of the sale?  That is a shitty deal!” And if enough folks in the government think that way, then they may make moves to nationalize the oil industry and rework the system to get more of the cash. Does that make sense? Venezuela did it. Russia did it. Bolivia did it.  Kazakhstan is thinking about it. 

Oh, by the way, did you see President Evo Morales of Bolivia on the Daily Show with John Stewart last week? Totally hilarious! And Evo referenced why he decided to nationalize his countries oil and natural gas: “On the issue of nationalization of oil and gas,” Morales said, “in 2005, before I came president, the Bolivian state received only 300 million dollars from its oil and gas exports. And now since they’ve been nationalized, the Bolivian state receives more than two billion dollars. Therefore, we followed through on what we promised.”

Are you starting to realize why this is happening at this particular juncture in history, particularly in the energy sectors?  If you answered: ‘because the price of oil is freakin’ high, and expected to get even higher’ than you win the prize! Oil producing states see the future sales going nowhere but up, and want to have a bigger slice of the pie for themselves.  Oil is one of those special commodities that kind of defies free market capitalism–in that lots of states control their industry as opposed to letting private individuals run the show. See map below for a few countries of note… And while die-hard capitalist countries claim that governments cannot run industries as well as private corporations, those states that are controlling their oil do seem to be making a holy shit load of cash right now…despite the fact that the private industry isn’t in charge.  And speaking of private….

Privatization is precisely the opposite of nationalization: it’s when a state sells off an industry or business that it controls to a private entity, most often a company/corporation.  Look to the above story from Japan for your best example of that right now: Japan sold its postal system to a private company. Wow!  The whole damn post office! Why would countries sell an asset like the post office or the telecom industry? Because most free-market capitalist societies believe that private individuals and businesses simply run things better. That’s the bottom line.

The theory goes like this: because private entities are motivated to maximize profits, they will do a better job making an industry like a post office more efficient, or they will work harder to find more oil, and are more flexible to invent new technologies and try new approaches which make the business run the best. Remember: one of the golden rules of capitalism is that competition will weed out the least efficient, and the better mousetrap will win every time. Folks of this opinion believe that governments are clunky, inefficient—and because they don’t have to compete with anybody—are uncompetitive! No shit? Lack of competition makes you become uncompetitive? Yeah, I can dig that!

Places like India and China have just figured this stuff out in the last couple of decades, and are privatizing like mad right now. India has recently privatized its transportation system, its telecommunications system, and anything else it can get its hands on to sell! China too has increasingly let out the reigns on its prior control of everything economic (during its botched attempt at communism) and that place is a venerable wild west of capitalism! Even Iran is in the privatization game…and they usually despise all ideas that are western in origin. There must be something to it!

And its not like the governments simply privatize the industry and then just walk away poorer for the experience. Capitalist theory would suggest that not only does the state make money on the initial sale of the industry, but in the long run will make way more in profits by simply taking a cut of the profits and/or taxing the service/product. Since private business will do it better, there will be more oil or more uranium or more corn or more stamped letters to tax…therefore the state makes more money! And without having to actually spend money running the damn show! You dig?

Does it sound like I’m picking sides on this nationalize/privatize debate? Don’t be fooled. The Plaid Avenger is here to tell you this: this is complicated shit, and there is no wrong or right side here.  It really goes on a case by case basis in my book. Does private industry typically do shit better than government-run shit? Absolutely! Are some countries getting totally reamed by some private corporations? Absolutely! Are some states unfairly grabbing shit from corporations whose time and investments made the industry profitable in the first place? Absolutely! Are some multinational corporations total scumbags who use their money and power to corrupt and control industries within a state? Ab-so-fucking-lutely!

So pay attention to which states are selling, and which states are buying, their industries.  And also pay attention to which industries are up for grabs.  You will hear a lot in the US about the possible nationalization of health care; in India about the privatization of telecoms; in Russia about the nationalization of the oil industry; and in Japan the privatization of the post…and now you know what that shit means, but more importantly, why it is happening…

I just hope I can still get my damn collectable Godzilla stamps in Toyko…even if it is from a private vendor… 

Presiding President Postures for Potential Prime Minister Position: "Pootie Poot" Putin’s

• World
• European Eurasia

Greetings World Watchers! Couldn’t help but fly into Moscow from Venezuela last night to meet up with the world’s toughest head of state to confirm some interesting news about his plausible and entirely possible persistence in playing on the world political stage.  And who has the balls to kick Vladimir Putin off of a stage of any sort? Dudes! Even if Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson were to throw down against Vlad, I have to say I would still bet heavy on the Ruskie!

And sorry for the corny blog title, but I am returning from a day at the Kremlin with some disturbing news… Apparently, back in 2002, George W Bush gave Vladimir Putin the nickname “Pootie Poot”. No, I’m not joking. Check this out: Bush’s love of Pootie-Poot Putin; Analysis: Bush and Putin on nickname terms

How did I miss that shit? Bush seriously referred to the most badass of world leaders as “Pootie Poot” Putin. Dubya is just begging to have a thermobaric bomb dropped on Crawford, Texas!!! But these stories above are from an already passed era—those cutesy nicknames were coined by Bush (and tolerated by Putin) at a time when these two world leaders were tight.  But those times have passed. It was a whopping five years ago when they were yucking it up together, but the US-Russian relationship has cooled significantly since then, and is possibly bordering on total animosity in today’s world. 

I think if George Dubya were to call Vlad ‘Pootie-Poot’ in today’s political climate, he might well get his jugular ripped out by the icy hand of the Siberian shit-kicker…. A nickname that I think may be more appropriate for the Russian leader.  Of course, I have also given the KGB veteran a more print-friendly nickname too: Vlad “The Man” Putin. Why do I call him “The Man”? I’ll give you a quick list:

1) He’s a former KGB agent. The KGB was the Secret Service in Russia. Sort of like a cross between America‘s CIA and Dr No’s SPECTRE. The KGB didn’t just assassinate political opponents, they did it with flair. One time they killed a Bulgarian dissident/journalist with a poison umbrella gun.  Damn! I remember when the Penguin pulled that shit on Batman!  You can’t make this shit up folks… what a bunch of pranksters! They are also widely believed to be behind the poisoning of the current Ukrainian president, as well as a former KGB spy that dropped dead in the UK last year.  Anyway, the fact that Putin was a power player in the KGB means it is very possible, if not likely, that Putin has killed people with his bare hands. Bare hands/Bear hands! HA! Unintended pun. Putin is a BEAR of a man! The KGB was officially disbanded by Yeltsin, but somehow, lots of former members have found their way into powerful positions within the Russian government.  No joke.  Although I’m sure that’s probably just a coincidence… hmmmm….

2) Putin is a judo black belt. This is all part of the KGB training. Vlad is a serious ass kicker. If the UN was a professional wrestling organization, Putin would be Hulk Hogan. In fact, if the UN ever did turn into a wrestling organization the only imaginable scenario is Putin standing atop the main podium yelling, “I challenge anyone to dethrone me! I am king of the world” and every other world leader cowering in fear. Not even Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is crazy enough to challenge Putin’s badassity.

3) Putin has training with small munitions. I think the pictures speak for themselves.
4) All of this aside, Putin is a damn handsome man. You should see the foxy Ruskiettes that hang out at the Kremlin Grotto. All I can say is WOW. He drives the Russian ladies (and gay men the world over) wild with lascivious lust.

Anyway, the real reason I came to Russia was to talk politics. Vlad is serving his second term as Russian President, which ends in March 2008. According to the Russian constitution, a President cannot serve more than two consecutive terms. That means, come March 2008, Putin will no longer be President of Russia. There was some concern in the international community that Putin would not honor the Constitution and would try to remain President for another term. Vlad, however, has been adamant for years that he will abide the law and step down when his term ends.

Vlad is highly popular in Russia and has presided over a period of Russian resurgence. (By most conservative estimates, he has approval ratings of 80% and up.) Many Russians would be happy to change the Constitution to allow for another term for “The Man”. However, the USA and EU would both likely flip shit about “dictator”-this and “autocrat”-that. To the West, this would be a move away from democracy (even though there is little doubt that Putin would win a “free and fair” election)–and you know how much the West likes democracy! So, it seems like Putin has come up with Vlad-tastic solution to this dilemma. Check this out:

Putin Says He Will Run for Parliament

Putin’s Plan to Stay in Power

The nonstop thrill ride of Russian politics 

Basically, a couple of weeks ago, Putin fired the old Prime Minister and replaced him with a no-name nobody named Viktor Zubkov. Literally. No one had ever heard of the dude. The only thing Zubkov has going for him is complete loyalty to Vlad. It would be like George Bush nominating his personal lawyer, Harriet Myers, to the Supreme Court just because she was loyal to him… Oops… I guess that did happen. But I digress…

Anyway, in Russian politics, the position of Prime Minister has been a spring board to the Presidency. By appointing Zubkov to be Prime Minister, Putin has made Zubkov the de facto favorite to be the next President. Why would Vlad appoint a no-name to be President? Does he want to pull strings from behind the curtain?

Actually, it turns out that Putin wants to pull strings from IN FRONT of the curtain. Putin announced that he will be running for Parliament. As the leader of his party (United Russia), which is the most popular party in Russia, he will almost certainly be elected to Parliament and then selected as Prime Minister. But, isn’t Prime Minister a suckier job than President? Maybe…maybe not. If the President of Russia is politically weak–which looks like it will be the case (does anyone even remember that guys name? Rubadub-Zub? Zuberanski? Shit, who cares..) then the Prime Minister could start to increase his power. This would especially be the case if the President wanted the Prime Minister to be powerful. The current situation is that the President makes decisions and the Prime Minister rubber stamps them. Very easily, next year it could be the exact opposite. Vlad “The Prime Minister Man” Putin could be the decision maker and President Rubadub-Zub could be the rubber stamper. Ha! There I go again!

So, this brings me to the FINAL REASON Vlad is “The Man”:

5) The man is more powerful than his position. Imagine if Bushie Bush ran for congress in 2008 and became Speaker of the House–and from that position, he was able to control the US government. You can’t imagine that. It’s too freakin’ crazy! In America, the President is powerful–and I mean the position of President, not just whichever child-of-privilege who gets to sit in the White House. The institutional power is not as established in Moscow. In Russia, Vlad is powerful. The man himself has the power.  It just so happens he is currently President. He would still be powerful as Prime Minister, or as Advisor, or even as Commissioner of the Russian Judo Federation (RJF). And that is why Vlad is “The Man”.

And, damn, he mixes one mean vodka martini…but perhaps I’m disclosing too much….

Incensed Iranian links up with Lively Latin Leftists…and America Annoyed

• Middle East
• World
• The Americas

Greetings World Watchers! The Plaid Avenger is reporting to you live from a latina lovefest here down in Latin America—a lovefest like no other I’ve ever reported on.  Usually in my adventures, a lovefest south of the border involves a lot of salsa music, a lot more tequila, and a whole lotta lovely Latin ladies! But this is a collaboration of a different flavor altogether: one that involves one eccentric Iranian and a whole bunch of Latin lefties….how un-hot can you get?  What am I talking about? Dig this:

Latin leftists use New York stage to polish image

Latin America welcomes Ahmadinejad

South America embraces Bush’s arch enemy

Iran Strengthens South America Ties

 

Ortega Lauds Iran’s Aids to Nicaragua

Is Ecuador’s Correa Following Chavez? (an anti-leftist, pro-US perspective)

Ecuador’s Correa celebrates ‘win’

So what’s the deal? Well, That whack-job Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been on a South America tour ever since he left the UN meeting last week.  But he hasn’t been visiting countries at random…he went straight to Bolivia and then over to Venezuela. These countries now form a kind of ‘deep-leftist’ socialist core of the continent.  But make no mistakes about it: they are not the only lefties south of the border.  Most of the governments in Latin America as a whole are now left-leaning, with some like Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez so far to the left that the damn boat is about to tip over.  Chavez is also a devout America-basher too, so Ahmadinejad felt right at home; in fact, he was probably downright cozy in Venezuela given the total smack-down he received while he was in the US.

And that’s what this blog is all about: the newly flowering relationship between Iran and the Latin leftists.  You know, socialist….some might say communists….and we all know how much the US hates those damn commies! Hates! Hates, my friends! Enough hate to fill the Pacific Ocean basin! If hate were people, the US‘s hate for commies would be China! And Hugo and his hard-core leftist buddies are getting very, very close to be labeled as commies by the US.  But the US hates Iran too! So much hate! So it is perhaps it is not a surprise to see those on the US ‘hate list’ teaming up to become buddies—a team whose outright stated mission is to counter US supremacy in the world…

You probably already know that there is lots of bad blood between the US and Chavez, but as I have suggested, he is not alone down south.  He has some allies.  What buddies am I talking about that you should be aware of? Well, there’s Fidel Castro of Cuba of course, an avowedly outright and open Commie.  I think he’s really the only one left who hasn’t gotten the memo that the commie thing didn’t work out anywhere on the planet. The US has made a forty year soap opera based on their blind hate of Castro.  Look up the ‘Bay of Pigs’ episode…it’s just hilarious!  

But Hugo’s other main squeeze right now is the President of Bolivia, Evo Morales…who was also just on the Daily Show with John Stewart! Did you see that shit? It was hilarious! YouTube it! Evo said something to the effect of: “please don’t put me on your Axis of Evil list.” Ha! What a character! And a deep leftist too! Morales is the first indigenous dude to be elected president, and he used to be a coca farmer…yeah, that’s right…the stuff you make into cocaine! Damn! The US don’t like him much either.

But Hugo also has Daniel Ortega of Nicaragua as an ally. You probably think of cheap homemade tacos when you hear the word Ortega.  But the US government just sees red when they hear that name—and I’m not talking about picante sauce my friends!  Ortega was a commie rebel fighter that the US tried to wipe out many decades ago…but he became President of his country instead! And he has become president again after a two decade hiatus, much to the chagrin of the US…again! Damn! The US even spent a shitload of money trying to get someone else—anyone else—elected to the post, but they failed.  The US really hates Ortega!

And there are others on the lefty Latin list too: Lula of Brazil is a moderate leftist that the US likes; Nestor Kirchner of Argentina and Michelle Bachelet of Chile are center-left folks that the US can deal with; and the newest of the bunch is Raphael Correa of Ecuador, a leftist that may be following more closely to the Chavez playbook when it comes to lefty-socialist stuff.

But wait, wait is this leftist shit anyway? In politics, left-wing or the left, on the left-right political spectrum, is associated with the interests of the working class. Center-left, left of center, and left liberal refer to the left side of mainstream politics in liberal democracies. They support liberal democracy, some degree of private property rights and free markets…but are mostly known for their 1)high spending on social welfare, 2)extensive regulation of the economy, and 3)some public ownership—you know, the state owns the shit. Like in Venezuela; the state owns and controls the oil industry.  Damn, state ownership is the opposite of private ownership…hmmmm….and starts to sound a lot like communism! Which the US hates! Hates! Hates! Hates the commies!

So perhaps now you are starting to see why the US has not been very happy with the huge leftward swing that has been occurring just south of its border. And this swing is very recent my friends.  All of these elected leaders have come into office in the last decade…and most of them just in the last year! That means they are going to be around for a while longer. Which means the US has a lot of being pissed off in its future.  And now back to our story…

These Latin leftist leaders have mostly worried the US not so much because of their internal socialist agendas, but more so because of their foreign policies.  Know this: in an attempt to wean themselves off of reliance on the US economy, many of these Latin lefties have been forging relationships with other countries…IN A BIG WAY! What do I mean? Well, most countries in South America have been (for the first time) cutting all kinds of big trade deals with China in the last several years, but they will do business with anybody! And that’s where our main man Ahmadinejad comes in: he has come across the pond to forge economic and cultural ties with these lefties too! And he gets to piss off the US as the same time! Double bonus points for the irate Iranian! Chavez and Ahmadinejad just love getting together and spouting off all kinds of anti-US shit just for kicks. They love to piss off the big boy.

And pissing off the big boy is just what is happening.  The US is extremely unhappy with these developments. Why? Well, Latin America has always been considered by the US as its strategic ‘backyard’—an area they don’t want anyone else messing around in.  For over a hundred years, the US has been the sole and unchallenged overseer of Latin American affairs…either indirectly, or sometimes way too directly. 

But that was then and this is now.  Since 9/11, the US has been utterly preoccupied with the Middle East and its War on Terrorism, and has completely ignored what has been happening south of the border.  Hell, President Bush has only made one visit down south his whole Presidency…and that was just a couple of months ago!  So Latin America has gone looking elsewhere for friends and allies who will pay them more attention, and hopefully make them richer with sweet-ass trade deals.  And those leftist leaders get to rally around a theme of nationalism by stressing that they are breaking their reliance on the US economically, but also by becoming full-fledged independent states that don’t bow down to the US diplomatically or culturally. 

Its an interesting scenario to be sure. Latin America seems to be becoming a new experiment in 21^st century socialism…and no one is quite sure how this lefty soup is going to turn out.

By the way, do you understand why more fervent socialism/left-leaning systems are becoming so dominant in South America/Latin America? Can you guess? Answer: Because they’ve got shitloads of poor people down there! Absolute shitloads! This region has some of the greatest wealth disparity on the planet…and it really shouldn’t given its natural resources and proximity to the US.  That’s why many leaders get elected on platforms of social change, helping the poor, helping the working class, and even having the state own/operate industries (like the oil and natural gas industry) in order to generate revenue to have money to spend on social programs. Many like Chavez and Morales and Correa argue that US-style capitalism simply isn’t working for them.

If you were shit poor, in a shit poor country, would you vote for someone who promised more social programs? Hmmmm….. I know that’s a tough one.  Think it over for a bit. I’m not saying the leftists are right, I just want you to understand why they are so popular right now.

Get it? Good. Now you know why the Iranian dude chilled with Chavez. Now you know why that pissed off the US. And now you know why the US has lost its position of dominance in the region, which pisses them off even more.

You now know a lot. Congrats. You should have a drink.

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