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TI: Coolest Corruption-Fighting Cats on the Plaid Planet

• World
• International Organizations

Watch out you cowardly crooked klepto-crats! TI is in the house, and are ready to deal with your dastardly deeds! TI stands for Transparency International, and they are a global outfit that is working damn hard to make the world a better place…by exposing and reporting on the most crooked government and corporate assholes on the plaid planet.  Hell yes! It’s about time we had some more good guys on the scene… damn, I can’t do everything on my own!  I need me some back up every now and again, and these guys are one of the best grime-fighting groups we’ve got.  If you are really interested in understanding the world, or maybe even trying to help out the world, then you absolutely must keep up with the TI. Browse through their website as often as you can.  And why are they in the news right now? Check it:

2007 Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI) page from Transparency International

Somalia, Myanmar, Iraq top corruption blacklist

How do we break the corruption cycle?

West ‘complicit’ in Third World corruption

Group calls on multinationals to fight the bribery that fuels corruption

So what the hell exactly is corruption? Simply put on a global scale, it’s when politicians and civil servants abuse their public positions for personal gain. While TI mostly focuses on corruption within political systems, we also have to consider the role of multinational corporations and illegal entities that play a big part in providing a lot of opportunities for those politicians and civil servants to screw up. In other words, you can’t tackle corruption simply by busting people who are on the take, but you have to also bust the bastards supplying the cash. You dig?

And how did TI come about to help fight this shit? As with everything good, it started with one dude:  As director of the World Bank for East Africa, the German jurist Peter Eigen was given a prime opportunity to observe corruption firsthand. He saw how useful development projects in Africa proceeded very slowly while costly, useless, and even destructive projects proceeded very quickly—mainly because they were receiving funding from rich financiers from developed countries like Germany, Japan, Canada, France, etc. Eigen calculated that a third of the debt burden of developing countries can be traced back to corruption-driven projects. He tried to develop anti-corruption concepts at the World Bank but the legal team told him to mind his own business. They said that he could legally do nothing against corruption because the World Bank wasn’t supposed to interfere with the internal affairs of recipient countries.

For this reason, Peter Eigen told the World Bank to ‘piss off’ and he formed Transparency International in 1993. The goal of TI is to eradicate corruption because it believes that corruption hinders social and economic progress and weakens democracy. It defines corruption as “the abuse of public office for private gain.” Some examples provided by TI as corruption are poor people having to come up with bribes in Southern India to use birth clinics or parents in Africa having to bribe teachers to teach their children, as well as big examples like Nigerian government officials being paid off by Shell Oil Co. to allow toxic dumping. TI publishes a Corruption Perception Index, a Bribe Payers index, and a Global Corruption report. 

But I’ll keep this rant brief: the news stories allude to this year’s publication of the Corruptions Perception Index (CPI) which ranks 180 countries on a variety of factors to see how corrupt they are. Scores range from 10 (perfectly clean) to 1 (covered in shit). See map below for a graphic take, or visit their website to download the whole report.

cpi_2007_worldmap.pdf

Some high-lites: New Zealand, Finland, and Denmark are clean as a whistle my friends! Rich democracies all typically rank high, with Western Europe doing the best as a region.  The US is #20—not bad considering how many high-level politicians have been busted last year, and the fact that they have OJ Simpson still running around free..  And surprise, surprise! Poorest countries in the world are most often the most corrupt ones.  Places that the Plaid Avenger considers ‘failed states’ (because they totally suck so bad that the government is almost useless) are almost invariably among the most corrupt in the world.  Burma, Somalia, Iraq, Haiti, Sudan, Afghanistan…yep, they are right down on the bottom of this list.

So why should anybody even care about this stuff?  Because “corruption continues to exist and ruin lives. For the poorest nations, in particular, corruption remains an enormous drain on resources sorely needed for education, health and infrastructure.” Sure, you can give money to charities and build habitat for humanity with Jimmy Carter or even start a business that provides jobs to an impoverished area.  But if you do these things in an extremely corrupt environment, then in the long run you are not going to help people out that much. Corruption is a disease that can eventually sap the life out of a community…or a country.  Unless it is stopped in its tracks!

And don’t feel like you have no role in this game my friends! You do! As TI and other international organizations well know, multinational corporations (most of whom are from the rich countries) and even the rich democracies themselves fuel a lot of this corruption from afar… some of it unintentional to be sure, but some of it quite intentional. Crooked bastards!  We in the superhero community encourage you all to pay attention to corporations that contribute to corrupting poor governments, and strike back. How? Don’t buy their shit!

Quite frankly, corruption may be the biggest factor that keeps poor countries poor. To many of us superheros in the business of justice, stopping corruption begins to solve virtually all the other problems that face the poorest countries in the world. And you simply cannot solve problems by sending aid to these places—because the damn crooked bastards will just steal it!  See how problematic corruption becomes?

So keep up on the happenings of TI! Do your part to fight for international justice!  Help stamp out corruption! And as always: Party on!

Dalai Lama at Oktoberfest? Let’s Get Enlit!

• World
• South Asia & Central Asia

From Burma to Bavaria! “O’zapft is!” my plaid friends: It is tapped! Greetings from an undisclosed beer tent deep in the heart of Munich, Germany where the 174^th Oktoberfest has kicked off and is in full swing. Ahhhh….I am in heaven, in my prime, and in-ebriated! What a perfect trifecta to be in! And of course the fräulein are digging my plaid lederhosen; but then again, who doesn’t? But I’m not just here to ride this two-week Bavarian celebration bandwagon; I came back to Deutschland from hanging with my Burmese Buddhist buddies to catch up with the grand pooh-bah of all the Buddhist monks, the main man, the Lama of all lamas: the Dalai himself.  Dig this:

Oktoberfest kicks off in Munich

Analysis: German-Chinese diplomatic crisis

Merkel Meets Dalai Lama Despite Chinese Criticism

China objects to Harper meeting with Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama renews calls for Tibetan autonomy

Dalai Lama meets with Austrian chancellor, irking China

The Dalai Lama is one dude who stays always on the move…which is made easier by the fact he has no place to call home! Just in the last couple of weeks, the Dalai Lama has visited the President of Austria, the Prime Minister of Canada, and the Chancellor of Germany, Miss Merkel-icious herself, Angela Merkel! And all these visits really piss off the Chinese government.  Now, the Chinese may just have gotten hot and bothered when the Lama went to Austria and Canada, but they were full-fledged infuriated by the fact that Germany allowed a meeting with Merkel and the monk.  So pissed that now China is saying that diplomatic ties have been permanently damaged! What? Damaged ties because a dude in a maroon toga talked to Angela for an hour? What gives?

I’m glad you asked my plaid friends, because that is the reason for today’s blog….well, that and about 13 quarts of Bavaria‘s finest. But I digress as usual.  Who the hell is this Lama guy, and why do his visits with world leaders leave the Chinese government seeing red?

This particular Lama (his given name is Tenzin Gyatso) is the 14^th of his kind: the successive Dalai Lamas form a lineage of allegedly reborn magistrates which traces back to 1391. The Dalai Lama position is to be the spiritual leader of a main branch of Buddhism referred to as Northern Buddhism, or Tibetan Buddhism. (This division is more geographic than dogmatic: it does not necessarily correspond to philosophical or doctrinal divisions among Buddhist worldwide, since they all share a common belief system and share most practices.) However, it is not his religious position that irks the Chinese: the Dalai Lamas have also been historically the ‘head of state’ of a geographic entity we refer to as Tibet.

Now, there is no way to keep this brief without pissing lots of folks off….but I’m going to do it anyway.  The area we refer to as Tibet has been various things at various times in the last thousand years: it was an independent kingdom, a vassal state, an autonomous region, a semi-autonomous region, a colonial holding, and a fully absorbed territory into a state we call China. For purposes of understanding today’s world, we need only concern ourselves with that last description…as part of Chinese territory.

During the heyday of the Manchu Empire in China, well over 300 years ago, Tibet increasingly came under the influence of the Chinese. But Chinese power was destroyed by internal factors and civil war combined with Western and Japanese imperialism in the 1800’s. AS China was falling apart, Tibet first became a pawn between Western powers (mostly Russian and British), and later began asserting its outright independence—and to keep the record straight for you, their ‘independence’ was proclaimed while China was self-destructing and the ‘West’ was preoccupied with World War 1. Basically, Tibet was largely just left to its own devices while all the other world powers were busy.

Long story short, once China got their act together (after WWII and their Civil War), they immediately starting re-establishing their presence in Tibet…and in fact had never renounced their claim of sovereignty on the area. The Dalai Lamas continued to partially rule in Tibet with, to some extent, autonomous power given by contemporary Chinese governments, until the People’s Republic of China invaded the region in 1949 and then took full control in 1959. The Dalai Lama then hauled ass to India and has since ceded temporal power to an elected government-in-exile. Which brings us up to date enough to understand today’s world…

The current 14th Dalai Lama seeks greater autonomy for Tibet. Not outright independence, but greater self-rule autonomy. The Chinese have interpreted this as a threat to their ‘sovereignty’—and let’s just call a spade a spade here….they hate the guy! They hate that he is so popular. They hate that he is well respected, and even venerated, as a world figure. They probably even hate his sweet-ass flowing robes. And they really, really, really, really, really, really hate it when any world leaders meet with the Dalai Lama because the Chinese think that the more recognition the guy gets, the more the world will demand that China give back Tibet to him. Its a similar issue to their Taiwan situation–the Chinese want NO ONE to officially recognize the guy for fear that Tibet will someday claim independence.

What is the Dalai Lama really up to? Well, the dude now tours the world—and he is the first Dalai Lama to go abroad—spreading the Buddhist message and preserving Tibetan culture. He does officially lead the ‘government in exile’ from Dharamsala,  India.  He is a fantastic speaker, promotes world peace, wildlife conservation, and a host of other awesome shit that has won him great respect, acclaim, and even a Nobel Peace Prize. Let’s face it: the dude is the Buddhist shizzle….how about we call him the Budd-izzel?

Anyway, as referenced in the stories above, the Budd-izzel Dalai Lama has been on a world tour this month, having just met for the first time ever with the Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel.  Budd-izzel and Merkelicious…how delicious! And of course the Chinese are shitting themselves with rage. So pissed that they are claiming that it has destroyed Chinese-German relations. 

The Plaid Avenger’s take on the Chinese position? How about this: move the fuck on China! This is a moot issue, and everyone in the world knows it except you guys! No one is recognizing Tibetan sovereignty; no one is encouraging the Lama to declare a free Tibet; and no one is proposing any Tibetan independence resolutions at the UN! Just because a shitload of Americans have ‘Free Tibet!’ bumper stickers on their SUVs doesn’t make it so! Relax!

In fact, the Chinese-Tibet situation is extremely similar to another outdated, goofball relationship in the world…and that would be the one between the US and Cuba. Come on China! You guys mock the US for its blockheaded policies toward the tiny island state. Can’t you see that your issues with the Lama are just as foolish? Pony up and make peace with the guy, and give Tibet the limited democratic autonomy they are asking for.

But that’s enough Plaid rhetoric for now…I just mostly wanted you guys to know why the Chinese are currently so pissed at Germany, and why they will continue to get pissed at other countries in the future. Its because they are being goobers, and they hate how cool everyone thinks the Budd-izzel is. Jealousy is a bitch my Chinese brothers.  Better to come here to Oktoberfest and chill down on some brewskies….

Which reminds me…Oh Fräulein! Another round at my table please! And wiener schnitzels! Bring me a shitload of wiener schnitzel! Stat!

10,000 + 8888 = ‘Ta-Ta’ To Than Shwe?

• World
• East Asia-Pacific

Holy shit! We got game on again here in Burma, and leave it to a bunch of Buddhist monks top get this party started! 10,000 monks to be exact. And they are starting to get open support from the masses too…in a situation that is becoming eerily similar to the 8888 Uprising—remember that?  This is a Plaid Avenger update story, since I have just reported from Burma week before last, so if you don’t know 8888 or the background…then check this first:  Junta Jackasses Manhandling Monks?

Even as good as I am, I never would have predicted this crazy whack turn of events.  Monks making my girl Aung San Suu Kyi cry? Wow. Totally insane. General Than Shwe and his band of merry merchants of death are up against the ropes to be sure….and the time may be right for their well-deserved departure.  But don’t count those assholes out just as yet, because they have a long history of crushing their own citizenry.  But first, to the news…

Protests swell against Burma’s military regime

Burma march largest in 20 years

Suu Kyi greets Burma protesters

Regional perspective: UN Security Council: The real battle on Burma

ASEAN leader appeals for restraint amid Myanmar’s growing anti-government protests

So what the hell has been going on this weekend, and why might this be the right time for us to say ‘ta-ta’ to Than Shwe? As seen from the stories above and the Plaid Avenger’s previous rant, the Burmese Buddhists have had enough, and have organized and taken to the streets.  This all started as a protest over a hike in fuel process a month ago, but as predicted by the Plaid, has become a general movement across the country to get rid of the ruling military junta jack-asses, and finally implement freedom and democracy for the Burmese people.  Sweet! Go guys go!

In a complete surprise move, they marched past Aung San Suu Kyi’s domicile, where our favorite freedom-fighter-hottie has been held in house-arrest for most of the past 15 years—and Suu Kyi came out to greet them, said nothing, but just wept for joy! Damn! These people are facing certain death and destruction, and they just keep putting themselves out there! How awesome!

So the monks are on the march, and are now saying that they will go on protesting indefinitely until the junta is jettisoned.  A bunch of holy dudes without any weapons at all are preparing to face up against the Generals, who of course control the entire army. And you know what happens when dudes without guns fight dudes with guns….so this could turn nasty at any given second.  So why hasn’t it yet?

Because the Generals don’t want to appear to be the butcher bastards that they actually are.  Buddhist monks, like holy men in most places, are revered in Burma.  The last thing the Generals want transmitted across the airwaves of the world are images of the military massacring monks.  That just usually looks really bad.  On top of that, a monk massacre may in fact incite the masses to go completely nuts and tear the government to bits.  And make no bones about it: those monks know what they are doing…and they are apparently every bit prepared to face the guns and die for their cause.

So the Generals are in a real tricky spot right now…. They don’t want to appear weak, otherwise the fighters for freedom will be embolden to do more, and at the same time don’t want to get into a monk-mayhem-massacre to establish their authority. So they are doing nothing for now. But do not start the celebrations yet—if those assholes get put up against a wall, they will order the massacre of every man, woman and child in Burma. Yes, they are that cold-blooded and ruthless; their history speaks for itself.  But the Avenger is extremely hopeful that this Burmese uprising may unfold differently than in times past, for reasons I want you to know…

So why might it actually be time for change in Burma? Why might it be time for Than to take a permanent vacation…hopefully to hell?

1) We live in the modern world. Communications are now instantaneous and global. If the junta starts widespread massacres, the entire world will know about it immediately.  And due to global news sources, a lot more people know about the Burmese situation and are following its every move…unlike ever before. They could get away with that shit 20 years ago without anybody knowing about it, but not anymore.

2) The junta DOES NOT want the bad press. Burma is a UN member, but more importantly, a member of ASEAN—which is a powerful regional trade block. ASEAN has already criticized the junta in the past, and some members already want Burma out of the block.  If they start doing bad shit, the UN, ASEAN and even APEC will not be happy with the regime, which is going to have political and economic ramifications. And finally, the big reason it may be time for change…

3) China may bail.  China has stuck up for the regime for decades under a bullshit umbrella theory that sovereignty trumps all (you know what I’m saying here, right world watchers? we’ve discussed this China sovereignty infatuation in the past).  China also has protected the Burmese regime in order to limit ‘western’/democratic influence in its immediate neighborhood.  But China wants to be considered a legit and noble world power on par with the US. If a massacre begins, China is not going to want to stick up for those assholes, and thus ruin their own reputation.

But maybe you are asking, ‘Why now?’ ‘Why would China change their attitude now?’ Answer: China has only come into its own as a world power in the last decade. And the Burmese junta has been fairly well-behaved in that same decade—mostly because there have been no major uprisings in the last decade. So if a massacre ensues, this will be the first time in the modern era that China will have to decide if they want to protect a pack of monk-killing maniacs. 

The Plaid Avenger instinct is that they will not.  Remember, China’s reputation is already on the ropes from all the shitty products that they have been exporting here lately, and they are hosting the Olympics—so trust me, the Chinese DO NOT want any Than Shwe tarnish on their reputation right now; they are going to bail if killing starts!

And that would be the one big thing that would end this Burmese mess once and for all—for China to stop shielding them.  The US and the UK have wanted to have UN involvement in Burma for decades, but since China is on the Permanent Security Council the issue has always been killed before it could come up.  With the Frenchies now on Team US/UK, you can be sure that if a massacre starts in Burma, the US will put forward a resolution condemning the junta and possibly suggesting UN action.  And I’m betting China may go along with it too to save face. Damn! Its amazing how hosting the Olympics changes a country’s behavior! Just think about this: if China were to protect the Burmese junta after a massacre now, it would not surprise me to see a lot of western countries boycott the Olympics! That would cause serious embarrassment for my main man Hu! China don’t want that! And that’s why they will bail from the Burmese bastards!

But speaking of western countries, its time for me to change out of my plaid Buddhist robes and head back west to Germany because Oktoberfest is starting! Hell yes! But wait, maybe I’ll keep my robes on, because there is a famous Buddhist partying in Germany already! Sweet! Time to get my Buddhist/Oktoberfest drink on!

Go get’em monks!

Permanent Possessors of Power: the Fabulous 5!

• World
• International Organizations
• East Asia-Pacific
• European Eurasia
• The Americas

Forget the Fantastic 4, you want to know about the Fabulous 5! Greetings from the New   York City my plaid friends! From the United Nations Headquarters to be exact.  And there are big things are going on in the Big Apple, not the least of which is the Avenger knocking back a dozen big-ass Manhattans—my mixed drink of choice here in the big city. Hey, the town’s so nice they named it twice, so I have to drink twice as much when I party here! But I digress as usual….While this weekend’s meeting will cover many tipples and topics, I just wanted to give you a quick rant about the UN’s most powerful component: the UN Permanent Security Council. Check out these stories related to this group’s recent activity:

Security Council reps discuss Iranian sanctions

Security Council Reform Resolution Fuels German Hope for Seat

Signs of shift in Iran stand-off

U.N. to revisit Security Council growth

U.N. Security Council has imposed an arms embargo on Sudan

The United Nations Security Council (UNSC) is the main organ of the UN charged with maintaining peace and security among countries. While lots of other committees do lots of other shit, all that shit only amounts to recommendations that are made to countries of the world.  However, the Security Council has the power to make decisions which member governments must carry out under the UN Charter—a charter which all members states have agreed to. Starting to get the picture here? If the Security Council passes a resolution, it must be enforced…by force if necessary!

In example: if a country on the Security Council proposes a resolution to bomb Burma, and that resolution passes, then the UN has to act on it, and Burma will be bombed.  That is an extreme scenario, but you get the point.  In 1950, it was just such a UN resolution that led to the invasion of South Korea by (US-led) UN forces to counter the hostile North Korean takeover that we now call the Korean War.

But let’s look at the mechanics of how this shit actually works.  The Security Council is made up of 15 member states, consisting of five permanent seats and ten temporary seats. Ah! Now we finally see the ‘permanent’ part of this group, and the reason for this blog.  The permanent five are the US, the UK, China, Russia, and France.  The ten temporary seats are held for two-year terms with member states voted in by the UN General Assembly, and broken down roughly on a regional basis (i.e. like 2 from Africa, 2 from Latin America, 2 from Middle East, etc.). So those 10 temporary seats are rotating, usually about half of them rotate out every year.

But the big 5! That is where all the action really is! Why? Because the Permanent Security Council members have this one all important distinction: veto power! Any one of the 5 permanent members can stop any resolution dead in its tracks. Russia or France or China can kill anything the US or Great Britain puts forward, and the US can crush anything the Russians or Chinese want to pass.  It’s just that simple. And that’s what creates all the drama!

Why so much drama? Because for the UN to actually send troops or aid to any part of the world requires a resolution from the council.  See, the entire Security Council votes on all issues, with each country getting one vote.  For any resolution to pass, it must have at least 9 ‘yes’ votes, and zero ‘veto’ votes from any of the permanent 5.  And the big permanent 5 don’t always see eye to eye on what the UN should be doing, because they all have different allies and strategic partners and motivations to consider.  So to keep our example going, the US would actually love to pass a resolution to send in troops to Burma to straighten that shit government out, but everyone knows the Chinese would veto it in a hot-shit second because the Chinese are big buddies of the Burmese regime.

Need another example? Just think back to the lead-up to the current US invasion of Iraq. That is a US invasion, not a UN invasion, precisely because of the dynamics of the Permanent Security Council.  The US was working damn hard to get the Council to pass a resolution to invade Iraq, but the Frenchies outright vetoed it, so the Ruskies didn’t even have to (which would have been likely). Thus, french fries became ‘freedom fries’, but you know that story already…

To keep it even more real, consider the current Iranian situation as referenced in the stories above. The US and the UK have for some time wanted to pass some resolutions to beat down the Iranians, but haven’t really bothered because the Frenchies and Russians would veto it. Now with Nick Sarkozy and the Frenchies coming over to Team USA, the sides are starting to get stacked in their favor….BUT the Russians are big buddies with the Iranians and will still likely veto any resolution that calls for military action against Iran. Can you dig it?

Just as a side note: China typically votes against any resolution which involves military action against any country.  They are big fans of sovereignty, and as such think that only some whack-ass extreme behavior by a state would warrant the use of UN force. What wusses. Actually, they are hesitant to violate any other countries sovereignty mostly because they don’t want anyone to invade theirs. They just don’t want to piss anyone off.

And you should know that a country can actually decide not to vote at all—which happens quite a bit with the Chinese.  They might not like a resolution, but if everyone else wants it, they will just not vote, thereby saving face. To keep our Iranian example: if the Russians eventually agree to some use of force against Iran, China will not want to stand in the way of a resolution that everyone wants, so they will abstain from the vote….so they won’t piss off the US, UK and France, and at the same time can tell the Iranians “Hey, don’t be pissed at us! We didn’t vote for it! Send your terrorist to their countries, not ours!”   See how this shit works?

To finish, you just got to know your Permanent Security Council 5, and how their behavior in large part determines the actions of the entire UN. Many folks want to expand the Permanent Security Council membership and change some of the rules to better represent the world and end the predictable stalemates. Check the stories above for activity on that front…and know this: Germany will likely join soon, as they already are invited to virtually every high-level talk that the Council holds. You will often see news stories reference meetings like this: The Permanent 5 + Germany.

Hmmm….Germany….isn’t it about time for Octoberfest celebrations to begin?

——-

US to ‘Cheesy Chen’: “Sit down and shut the hell up”

• World
• East Asia-Pacific
• The Americas

Hello again World Watchers! Had to toddle over to Taiwan to check out their totally titillating and turbulent fifteenth attempt to join the UN: an attempt causing Chinese consternation and American aggravation. The President of Taiwan is Chen Shui-Bian…I call him ‘Cheesy Chen’…and he is a master at pissing off world leaders. What? How can a single little island nation simultaneously snub two of the biggest powers on the planet? I’m glad you asked friends, because this is a tricky tale that has potentially explosive repercussions on the global stage. How explosive? Well, just so you know, this little Cheesy Chen possesses the power to initiate a world war.  Sound fanciful? Well, dig this first, and then I’ll explain:

Taiwan in fresh UN membership bid

U.S. steps up pressure on Taiwan to drop U.N. referendum

US should consider Taiwan’s need

Taiwan’s Chen seen likely to defy U.S. pressure

Taiwan Leader Riles China, U.S.

Taiwan loses Costa Rica’s support

President Chen Shui-bian is the current elected leader of Taiwan. He is also from the Taiwanese political party that is very, very pro-independence for Taiwan. Just so you know, Chen and his party barely squeaked through the last election with the win–meaning that they don’t have overwhelming support in the country.  Most folks in Taiwan are not pro-independence, and in fact the majority just want to maintain the current nebulous status quo.  The masses are not fighting mad for Taiwanese independence. But Chen and his cheesy chinesey crew are…

But wait…Taiwanese independence? Are they not already? Isn’t Taiwan already in the UN? What is the deal?  Many of you probably erroneously assume that Taiwan is already a sovereign state with a seat at the UN…and of course many of you would be wrong.  Taiwan is not a sovereign state.  And that is what the stories above are about; President Cheesy Chen is petitioning the UN for the fifteenth time to allow them into the country club. But it is not going to happen.  Not now. Not ever. Never. And everybody knows it.  So why the hell is Chen still trying? And why does the attempt piss everybody off? 

For most of its history, Taiwan was an island territory off the coast of China that was of no great significance. (Sorry my Taiwanese friends! You know its true!) However, Taiwan immediately became a Cold War hotspot when the Chinese Nationalists (Kuomintang), after losing the Chinese Civil War, retreated to Taiwan and set up a government called the Republic of China (ROC). Meanwhile, Chairman Mao and the Communists controlled mainland China and called themselves the People’s Republic of China (PRC). Acronym reference guide:

• ROC: pro-democracy, pro-capitalist, leaders of Taiwan
• PRC: communist (well, they used to be), leaders of China…yeah, the real China

The leaders of both ‘countries’ have long subscribed to the one-China policy (that there is only one China and Taiwan is part of China), each insisting on their own government’s legitimacy. Of course, all this went down during the Cold War, when capitalists and communists weren’t allowed to hang out. So, depending on where you hailed from, you could recognize either the PRC or the ROC as the legitimate Chinese government. Capitalist democracies originally recognized the ROC as the legitimate government of China and communist countries recognized the PRC as the legitimate government of China. So back in the 1950s and 60s, the US, most European countries and even the UN recognized the ROC (Taiwan) as the legit leaders to have diplomatic ties with.  Hell, Taiwan held the ‘China’ seat at the UN!

In particular, during the Cold War, the US wanted to help promote the Taiwanese government because they were on our team…you know, Team Democracy/Capitalism! The US made economic and military and strategic ties which helped protect Taiwan from Chinese aggression and also helped make them a fully modern, rich nation. As such, America‘s policy has been, “If China invades Taiwan, we will defend Taiwan, by force if necessary.” And many other countries around the planet supported this endeavor by recognizing the legitimacy of the ROC.  But times changed…

Since around 1970, support for ROC as the legit leaders has hugely diminished. Why? Well, because even the US and others had to finally recognize that the communist Chinese were here to stay.  They couldn’t go on pretending that the 3^rd largest country with the largest population in the world simply didn’t exist. In other words, everyone had to stop being dumb.  So in 1971 the UN to shifted its ‘China’ seat from Taiwan to China proper. In 1972 the US initiated their ‘One China Policy’ which states that “the United States acknowledges that Chinese on either side of the Taiwan Strait maintain there is but one China and that Taiwan is a part of China. The United States does not challenge that position.” In 1979 the US switched their diplomatic recognition to China proper, but still maintained their strategic ‘protection’ alliance with Taiwan. This strategic alliance is underlined by the fact that the US sells Taiwan shit-tons of military hardware; a situation that continues to the present.

Since the 1980’s, as China’s economic clout has grown bigger and bigger, country after country around the globe has switched diplomatic recognition from Taiwan to China. The most recent was Costa Rica a few months ago. Taiwan now only has 24 countries which still recognize it as legit, as opposed to China which has 170. It should be noted that those 24 include powerhouses like El Salvador, Kiribati, and Swaziland. Getting the picture here? The number continues to dwindle because China refuses to do business with any state that recognizes Taiwan…and no country can afford to not do business with China anymore.

So what’s all this got to do with current events? Just this: in a strange twist of history, this crazy Cheesy Chen dude is in a position to start a major regional war by his whack-ass UN-seeking antics.  How?

A scenario not unlike pre–WWI Europe has evolved:

1. The US has been committed to helping defend Taiwan if China attacks. Some administrations—like the current Bush administration—have sometimes outright declared this to be a fact. In other words, the US will counter the attack if the Chinese invade. Maybe.
2. China passed a law in 2005 that legally binds them to attack Taiwan should Taiwan ever declare independence. They claim there is no decision to make, no choice to contemplate. They will attack.
3. The current president of Taiwan is both a lame-duck president and avowedly pro-independence for Taiwan. He’s got nothing to lose. He might want to play high-stakes poker, where the ante for the game includes his whole damn country. The Plaid Avenger also thinks the guy has a serious screw loose too; Chen was shot a few years ago in what appears to be a ‘staged assassination’ just two days before the presidential election in order to gain a sympathy vote. You let someone shoot you? Dude….you are whack.

See where this could go . . . and fast? One yahoo in office in Taiwan now has the ability to launch two of the biggest world powers against each other. One false move in the middle, and everybody is pulled into the game.

So these completely bullshit attempts at UN recognition are just another big stunt by Cheesy Chen to rile up the world.  Of course you now understand why his moves piss off the Chinese, but have you figured out why Chen bugs the US too?

Answer: if you haven’t noticed, the US military is kind of busy right now. Afghanistan, Iraq, possibly Iran, the War on Terrorism, the War on Drugs, and of course all those military air shows are keeping the US armed forces busier than ever. The US simply does not have enough ass right now to send over to defend Taiwan if a war were to break out. 

And increasingly, many in the US aren’t sure they want to fight a war with the Chinese, even if they had nothing better to do. The US and Chinese economies are inextricably linked at this point, and no one would stand to gain from a war of any kind between these two heavyweights.  And for what? An island that virtually everyone on the planet agrees is Chinese territory. Man, no one wants to get pulled into a pissing match over Taiwan.  And that is why the US response to Chen’s words have been “Please sit down and have a tall glass of shut-the-hell-up’. Can you dig it?

Oh by the way, you may have wondered how the Plaid Avenger knows that the Taiwan resolution to the UN won’t pass? Because both China and the US, as members of the UN Permanent Security Council, have veto power over any resolution. And everyone knows that both of them would veto it. That resolution doesn’t have a snow cone’s chance in Sumatra to pass. 

What’s that? You don’t know what the Permanent Security Council is? Well game on then! I’ll travel to UN headquarters in New York by tomorrow morning and tell you all about it.  Until then…

Party in plaid!

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